photos

15/Apr/2010 PA
12/Apr/2009 Sunrise Circus
15/Mar/2009 Lego
08/Mar/2009 Moomba
13/Feb/2009 Car Smokey Sunset
26/Jan/2009 Fireworks
26/Oct/2008 Synchrotron
07/Jun/2008 Model Trains
06/Jun/2008 Wedding
04/Jun/2008 Central Coast Trip
more photos...

lavtools

03/Nov/2011 yuvvalues
03/Nov/2011 yuvrfps
03/Nov/2011 yuvdiff
03/Nov/2011 yuvaddetect
03/Nov/2011 yuv2jpeg
more lavtools...

Creativity

The TRIP is the mental projection of my digital self. Including all areas of digital work I have been involved with, including Music, video, photography...

All good web pages must have the collection of absolutely useless pictures. Designed for no purpose other than to consume kilobits. And hopefully show off some of my Photographic skills. Web design skills, and uses one php script to drive the whole index. Also see the Photography section of the Silicontrip Website.

The Creative section of the TRIP is my imagination trying to run free. I have a fascination with sexual, spiritual and meta physical abilities, and these stories show it.

Part of the images directory contains some of my digital artwork. These images have been created or enhanced by myself, with the help of the 1s and 0s machine.

album

23/Feb/2011 Trace
17/Jan/2010 Food
30/Oct/2009 Airbrush
18/Jun/2009 Focal
01/Jun/2009 Transport
01/Jun/2009 Misc
31/May/2009 Artwork
24/Apr/2009 AirbrushScales
18/Apr/2009 Probe
10/Jan/2009 Scanimation
more album...

blog

27/Jan/2012 ZFS for OSX
14/Dec/2011 Scripting Bridge
02/Dec/2011 Core Audio Units
01/Mar/2011 A useful bit of code
22/Dec/2010 Larger than 4G files on FAT for OSX
08/Dec/2009 Time machine on non HFS drives
21/Oct/2009 My Strengths
27/Aug/2009 Train Hitchiking
11/Jul/2009 A litre of onions
19/Jun/2009 FSCK for NTFS
18/Jun/2009 Automated Focal Deconstruction
12/Jun/2009 Perl code to write BMPs
07/Jun/2009 More Lego
01/Jun/2009 Latest Airbrushing
30/May/2009 Happy Birthday to me
24/May/2009 Comments Engine
09/May/2009 Skills Matrix
24/Apr/2009 Airbrush simulator
19/Apr/2009 Ben 10 Board game
29/Mar/2009 How fresh is your fresh food?
more blog...

BACK

08/Feb/2006

Helpdesk Most hated user problems

Make sure you have a modem
Dont send mail from Firstname, Sirname (username@netspace.net.au)
Know What Operating System (System software) you have
Dont ask how to create a WEB page
Dont ask what to do with a *.ABC file (where ABC is any three letters)
Dont consider downloading another copy, unreasonable
Make sure you have enough diskspace, Know How to make space on your harddisk
You cannot send or receive Faxes while connected to the internet with the same phone line
Dont complain that your e-mail is not working if you haven't clicked on "Get Email"
It is normal for you computer to give you an "ILLEGAL OPERATION" error. It does not mean that other users of your computer have been trading drugs.
Do not complain that Our Lines are constantly Busy IF you are dialing your own number
an & is not the AT symbol do not use it in email addresses netspace&netspace.net.au
MAILER-DAEMON messages about failed emails are automatically generated. Do not reply to the MAILER-DAEMON asking him to explain himself.
Know where your backspace Key is.

Please Make sure you have your computer license Number when you call the Helpdesk

What? Are you saying you dont have your Computer License? Did you lose it? You never got your Computer License? Did you take the license test? No? How can you be expected to operate the computer?

Customer: The Internet Doesn't Work!!!
Helpdesk: What is the error message?
Customer: Does not work.

Please Note

The internet will be down for cleaning between the 27^th and the 30^th this month. Please do not use any computer or communication equiptment as this will interfere with, or possibly damage, the Internet during this time.
Thank you.

Most Hated Web pages Sins

Dont Assume that the default background color is white.
Dont Assume that everyone is running Windows.
Dont Assume that everyone is able to run the browser of your choice if you put a link to it.
Dont Assume that everyone is able to install the plugin required to view this web page.
Dont Assume that everyone has automatically load images (or can even view images).
Dont Assume that everyone has the font Arial installed.
Dont Assume that your "viewers" are from the States.

InterWeather: Mixed conditions, sporadic outages

Similarly to yesterday, the Internet displayed an extremely varied picture from backbone to backbone. Several providers are showing significant congestion, in some cases severe. With statistics fluctuating wildly, there appears to be no single problem, but rather just the effects of heavy traffic and high server loads.

Conditions are expected to improve after peak hours (8 PM EST or later).

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did...

HELPLINE:	"General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER:	"I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE:	"Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"
CUSTOMER:	"What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE:	"It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER:	"Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

HELPLINE:	"General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER:	"My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE:	"Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER:	"Huh? How do I know?"
HELPLINE:	"There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER:	"I see an 'E' but no 'F'."
HELPLINE:	"You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.
CUSTOMER:	"No, just to the right of the 'E' is an 'N'.
HELPLINE:	"An 'N'?!?"
CUSTOMER:	"Yeah, there's a 'H', an 'O', an 'L', then a 'D' followed by the 'E" then an 'N' "
HELPLINE:	"No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about."
CUSTOMER:	"That steering wheel thingy-- Is that the round thing that honks the horn?"
HELPLINE:	"Yes, among other things."
CUSTOMER:	"The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?" *
HELPLINE:	"It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER:	"What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

HELPLINE:	"General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER:	"Your cars suck!"
HELPLINE:	"What's wrong?"
CUSTOMER:	"It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
HELPLINE:	"What were you doing?"
CUSTOMER:	"I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed - - and now it won't even start up!"
HELPLINE:	"I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the product."
CUSTOMER:	"Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did -- now the damn thing's crashed."
HELPLINE:	"Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the car sir?"
CUSTOMER:	"What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn't work!"
HELPLINE:	"Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash? "
CUSTOMER:	"How do you do THAT?"
HELPLINE:	"You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator."
CUSTOMER:	"Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual you know."
HELPLINE:	"Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"
CUSTOMER:	"I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won't crash anymore!"

HELPLINE:	"General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER:	"Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
HELPLINE:	"Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER:	"How do I work it?"
HELPLINE:	"Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER:	"Do I know how to what?"
HELPLINE:	"Do you know how to DRIVE?"
CUSTOMER:	"I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

MARK at Home.